to be alone and lonely vii

Posted on in My Creative Content, Poetry

playground favours and colour pencil swaps by primary school
scented and calligraphed love letters sent by mail in high school
long walks and plans of happily ever after in uni

we laugh at the things we did in the name of love
we now know what we did not know then
love is not feelings or the giving of bodies

these expressions are not guarantee of anything —
those we swore we will love forever, we have forgotten
we have forgotten their names, their faces, their love

we are happy when it rains, it is perfect excuse
to skip attendance to yet another baby shower, another bridal shower,
to stay indoors, to marinate our furniture with our aloneness

nothing in us wants them anymore
nothing of them remains in us,
except this violence of separation, this skepticism for affection

we realize now, if they were still here, we would still be like this —
our solitude is ours, our aloneness is ours,
our loneliness is ours. solely ours.

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