a short guide on men, for women by daisy moraa

Posted on in My Creative Content, Poetry

I

first off, if he is not into you, you will know. if he is into you, you will not have to question it or analyze it. a man in love is easy to spot – he calls, he takes you out, he wants to know how you are, how you spent your day, he cares through his actions about you; how he works a sweat to get into your life, and this without your prompting

one who is not into you on the other hand, is equally easy to spot — he does not go out of his way to see you or call you — he does not make you feel beautiful; he does not compliment you, if anything he makes you doubt, makes you wonder if you are good enough — he only sees you after hours, when the time is squeezed, after you have waited for him for hours, and he does not have the time to speak or fulfill your longings, instead his affections are hurried, and he leaves you disrupted and un-satiated, he is like a thief; the relation you have with him could be kept a secret for many months — no one knows about his involvement in your life, you are a secret and he makes the minimum possible investment to be in your life and you clutch desperately at whatever crumbs of affection he throws your way much to his amusement

and darling, if he is not into you, as i tell my girls all the time, move on swiftly

II

for all you are worth, do not chase a man — that is as futile as can be
let him do the chase — if you do the chase, you reverse the roles, and he will take advantage of you, unless that is what you want

III

in courtship, use the mirror effect — respond in kind — silence for silence, communication for communication, flaky for flaky and this with tact; but do not be dramatic or grumpy or needy — in all you do, no matter the intensity of your affections, do not go out of your way to please a man who is not going out of his way to please you

IV

men lie alot. i repeat, men lie alot. be shrewd — match his words against his actions, and if there is a mismatch, walk away. it is not your responsibility to mother him into courtship
if he says he will call and he does not, if you make plans for 7pm and he shows at 8:30 pm, if he only shows up when he is out options, that tells you where he ranks his affections for you — either he is a brute or he does not have you in his list of priorities, the best remedy is rip him off your life before he festers into a wound that does not heal

V

take your time to know him — take as much time as you need before you let him in — your heart is a prized possession; do not let anyone fling it back and forth on their whims — if he does not meet your standards, let him go, another will come

VI

respect men despite their defects — we are all human, in a very human world

men hurt too — they have hopes, and dreams, and they too have feelings — do not (for vain reasons) be the source of their pain

VII

avoid married men like the plague

VIII

if he makes you cry, or worry or fret — if your life degrades or does not get any better for the fact hat he has come into it, let him go — life is too precious to spend your days suffering for a man

IX

for Christian ladies, wait for the man God has in store for you — when he comes into your life you will know — God is faithful, He fulfills His promises

X

you know what they say; all is fair in love and war — be tactful, know what you want, how you want it and aim for it.
some basic notes that may come in handy in this often messy affair — men are visual creatures, to get their attention – intellectual or otherwise – be well groomed, smell nice, look good — if he is cheating with you, he will cheat on you, and yes, that married man is not leaving his wife for you — see that boring plain Joe, give him a chance, he might surprise you — when you are in pain, in doubt, nursing a heartache read warsan shire’s “for women who are difficult to love”, “the unbearable weight of staying”, “questions for the women i was last night”. these poems have been useful to me many a times, and who said poems cannot heal whatever wounds the pursuit of love leaves behind — in the end, in love and in life, what you allow is what you will get

 

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